knowing you’re finished

how do you know when your family is complete?  there seems to be no exact science in how to come to that decision.  i fully understand that God might have different plans for me.  He might even be smiling as i type this at how sure i am that i know we are done.  however, in my heart, i do feel complete.  not saying that i couldn’t or wouldn’t welcome another child, i most certainly would . . . but if i’m being honest, i’m hoping it doesn’t happen.

after giving it a lot of thought, i have narrowed it down to these five reasons . . .

1.  my kids are awesome.  i know that in the past i would tire of hearing how great people think their kids are, but now that i’m a mom i totally get it!  lily and gus absolutely drive me bonkers sometimes, and i’m not kidding myself by thinking that i don’t do the same thing to them.  but there is nothing that they could ever do to make me not love them for the unique kids that they are.  i’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again, they have completed me in a way that i never knew needed completing.  my love for them runs so deep and i don’t feel that i need any more children to feel fulfilled.

2.  the cost . . .  i’m not just thinking about college tuition or a wedding either.  paying for another cesarean section, diapers, food, clothing, school expenses . . . and then eventually college, possibly a wedding, etc.  it all adds up!!  right now we are able to live comfortably and provide for our children.  adding another might very well make the difference between comfortable living and feeling too stretched financially.

3.  pregnancy . . . i actually think that i do rather well as a pregnant person.  ok, i snore a lot (or so my husband tells me) when i’m pregnant, but that only lasts for nine months.  however, walking around for months without having to suck in my stomach is a major perk . . . am i right, ladies?  but with the fun of not having the monthly “friend”, the sorta cute maternity clothes, and the awesome hair that comes with pregnancy also brings swollen feet, not being able to sleep on my stomach, barfing every time i have to feed the dogs their food, and out of control emotions.  (admittedly, people that know me best might think that i don’t need pregnancy for the latter . . . sigh.)

4.  weight loss . . .  i drop baby weight . . . fast . . . and i’m not ashamed to shout it from the rooftops.  if i were a celebrity, i’d probably be one that women get pissed at for losing the weight in a matter of weeks.  however, that is pregnancy weight, people.  i’m not embarrassed to admit that i packed on several pounds between my two pregnancies.  after gus was born though, i was absolutely hell bent on losing all of the weight . . . pregnancy and laziness weight.  i did it, with help of weight watchers, and i’m in absolutely no hurry to have to go through all of that again!

5.  the dark cloud that is PPD (postpartum depression) . . .  i get it, and it sucks.  brooke shields has no idea how her willingness to write about her own struggles with this helped me.  should i ever meet her, i will tell her just that.  i had never experienced depression before being hit with it after lils was born . . . and it absolutely scared the hell out of me that i’d get it again the closer it came to gus’ arrival.  i absolutely credit my doctor’s (both in orlando and cincinnati) for helping me through such a miserable experience and for prescribing wellbutrin.  it saved my life, and that is no exaggeration.  i hope to never go through that again.

6. (ok, so i added one more!)  see the picture at the top of the page?  this image is what prompted the decision to be made in the first place.  it may just look like a picture of a family’s toothbrushes, but to me it means so much more.  it proves completion.  it shows that we need to be content with who we’ve been given, and that there is no need to add anyone else.  it means that, if i did get pregnant again (nice one, God) we’d have to rip out this awesome original toothbrush holder from the 1930’s to make room for a bigger one . . . and that i’m really not wanting to do!

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1 Comment

Filed under family, life lessons

One response to “knowing you’re finished

  1. Sheryl

    Right there with you, honey!!! Four is JUST RIGHT for us too! I love our family just the way it is- and that is ok. No need to be sorry for it or wish you could change it. We’ve both been soooo blessed with happy, beautiful, and healthy children. That’s already more than I deserve. By keeping our family at four people, I even get to keep my sanity and enjoy my children every day without feeling overwhelmed. 🙂

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