keeping it real

my daughter is a total brat today. actually for the past two days now, she’s been a totally different child. i just don’t get it. what the heck happened to my sweet and mostly obedient little girl? it’s as if she’s been replaced by a pms-ing, jonas brother listening, teenager! ick Ick ICK! i’m convinced that she somehow knows i’m out of my mind these days and is allowing God to use her as some kind of crazy character building exercise for . . . me! i guess i’m just going to have to trust Him on this one, even if i do it kicking and screaming (hmmmm, i guess like her?) the whole way there.

gus is coming one week from tomorrow. yes, next freaking week! i can’t even believe it. i have not yet packed for the hospital . . . unless you count a few nightgowns, nursing bras, some giant ass underwear, and a onesie stuffed into a plastic publix bag. my house is a wreck, albeit totally organized. i’ve been building my “nest” for the past few weeks, but haven’t stopped to really, um, clean it. dust bunnies abound underneath his swing and my carpets are so full of lint and dog hair that it makes me sick. oh, and while i’m ranting . . . here’s some advice . . . the ridiculously expensive dyson that my husband insisted we buy totally SUCKS, and i don’t mean in the way that they advertise it should. seriously, it’s a giant yellow piece of crap that takes up too much valuable closet space to be worth keeping around. it doesn’t pick up a freaking thing without first going over it at least 10 times. what a waste.

lily’s “big girl” bed is in the process of being put together. as a testament to how nothing is ever easy and how my decisions are rarely well thought out, i had the bright idea to buy a “vintage” bed over a year ago, in anticipation of the day that would eventually come when she’d grow out of her toddler bed or give it up to a sibling. $60 seemed like a steal when i bought it, though i didn’t really give too much thought to the expense of a custom mattress or sheets for that matter. i also didn’t bother to see how it was assembled before taking it apart. plastic zip-ties should have been a dead giveaway that the head and foot board were not originally meant to be with the body of the bed. my poor husband has made numerous trips to the giant orange hardware store to buy the right kind of drill bits and bolts to affix the pieces . . . not knowing exactly what the heck he was drilling through. iron? steel? anyway, this has resulted in him declaring that he will never . . . n e v e r . . . try to do something like this again. i’m sure he’s just adding this to the long list of “treasures” i’ve brought home that have needed hours of work to make them usable. ugh.

just to add insult to injury . . . every night i look at my fat feet and toes (which, by the way, totally resemble stuffed sausage these days) and count the moments until they reduce back to their normal size. bless my sister-in-law for giving me an a w e s o m e pedicure the other night. for about a day i actually didn’t cringe when i peered over my giant stomach to see them. i can also no longer wear my wedding rings, which isn’t really too bad of a thing since i wouldn’t wear them to the hospital anyway. however, looking at my bare ring finger just makes me feel more naked, more fat and less womanly. sigh.

anyway, i am thankful that this will all be over soon and that i’ll have a little burrito baby to hold against my chest . . . and even better . . .a little face (which i pray looks like my husband’s) to look up at me and know that he is mine and i am forever his.

mmm hmmm . . . i know you're jealous.