soon there will be four

the days of being a family of only three are quickly coming to a close, and i’m kind of mourning it. any of you parents of two out there know where i’m coming from? don’t get me wrong, i’m so excited to meet this little guy who has been keeping me up at night, who knows just the right place to kick, or tickle me in the ribs! i can’t wait to hold him next to my chest and feel his sweet breath on my skin when he sleeps, or to see the look on tom’s face the first time we hear him cry (thinking back to the moment lily was born . . . still one of the most precious moments of my life so far). i know that there will be many wonderful things to come, yet i can’t help but be a little sad at the same time.

i finally feel like i’m getting the hang of my life as a mama . . . of one. now i’m going back to square one . . . but this time with two. how will i have enough energy to give lily the love and attention she deserves? how can i do this for gus? i know that i’m not alone in these feelings. most of my friends with multiple kids have been in this same situation and have dealt with the same gut wrenching feelings. i know that i’m not unique. yet i’m feeling so isolated these days as his birth draws nearer.

i look at lily and think that her sweet little life is about to change . . . dramatically. believe me, i never wanted an only child. i knew that there would come a time when we would add another member to our family. it’s time. however, i worry that it will somehow alter her personality. (kind of like how polly became a little overshadowed when we added franklin . . . i know, i know, they are just dogs, but hang in there with me.) i know that it will become a new kind of “normal” for all of us. that eventually we will not pine away for the days when it was just the three of us, because gus will have brought something new and special to our lives that only he could. but even with knowing this, i’m still sad and a little scared.

anyway, these are just some of my random musings at 4:30 in the morning, as i sit on my couch, surrounded by pillows, unable to sleep. oh the joys of the final weeks of pregnancy!

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3 Comments

Filed under family, life lessons

3 responses to “soon there will be four

  1. I so know how you feel. Adding a second child so dramatically changes your family make-up. Sometimes I wondered if we had done the right thing, sometimes I STILL wonder that as the boys are yelling at each other across the table–but then we listen in bed as Dominick explains Easter egg hunting to Xander, watch as Dominick helps Xander stand up to join his classmates in line, look at any picture of the boys and Xander is always looking up adoringly at his big brother. I wouldn’t change a thing. Having a second child has so enriched all of our lives. And those baby snuggles–so much more enjoyable when you know how fleetingly fast those baby days go by.

  2. Melanie

    here in Orlando one of the local hospitals has a class for “big brother/sister”. we brought in a onesie and Faith got to paint it for the baby.(I still have it) they watched a video on bringing baby home, how they would stay at grandma’s house or relative’s house while mommy was in the hospital. I cried through the whole thing!! Faith was like “what’s wrong with you?” then she got to hold a pretend baby and feed it. that’s when reality set in for her. she looked at me with big eyes and said “the baby comes home with us?!!” I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time! then they read a book about being a big brother/sister and she liked that part. then they gave them a big brother/sister T shirt to wear when she came to visit me at the hospital. she loved it!! all the nurses made a big deal about her and she loved the attention.
    also, buy a gift for Lily and put it in your hospital bag. so when she comes to visit you and new brother at the hospital, you give her the gift from you and daddy celebrating that she’s a big sister now. Puts some attention on her.
    also, it’s important that when she visits you in the hospital, mommy should not be holding the baby. Let daddy hold the baby and let Lily climb up in your lap and you hold HER. (learned that in nursing school and with my own kids)
    when you get home, she may regress in some things. faith regressed back to diapers. she wanted to be like the baby. ugh. we dealt with it for about a month then she went back to wanting to be the big sister. smile
    Faith wouldn’t come around David till he was about 3 months old then she warmed up to him. they get along fine now. they have their moments but for the most part, they are kind and it is sweet to hear them say I love you to each other.
    Boys are a hand full but also the best cuddlers. every morning and every night, David wants me to sit by him. No talking, just to be there side by side. sometimes it drives me crazy because I have a million things I could be doing but then I think, in 10 years he’ll want nothing to do with me so I sit quietly and enjoy the moment.
    Make sure you make time for just Lily and mommy time too.
    You will be OK. You already know what to do. Your motherly instincts will tell you when and how to use your time.
    Blessings to you my friend. love ya

  3. kelly and melanie. your comments were so touching and heartfelt. i sincerely appreciate them. thank you both so much!

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